Text for ‘Pre-paving’ Conversations

Take a nice deep breath in… and let it out… settle your body to be as comfortable as possible. Letting go of the future… and the past… coming into this moment now… relax the muscles around your eyes as you breathe… That’s it.

Pre-paving a conversation using emotions as your focus is a powerful way to direct your energy and bring the best out of interactions. This is not about figuring out what to say, or rehearsing a script, or creating a policy on how to handle anything. It’s much easier and gentler than that.

Instead, we’re going to tune into the emotions you have about this conversation now and the emotions you’d like to have. The reason many conversations don’t feel as good as they might, is that we are focusing on the words, the ‘story’ or content.

Often, we’re not giving any overt attention to the way we actually feel. We may want our emotions to be acknowledged or soothed. We may hope the other person can do that by sharing some degree of understanding through our words, our body language and tone of voice.

But the fact is, the comfort and soothing we seek comes from inside us. Not from the other person. The more we hope for relief by talking, the more entrenched the ‘story’ can become, because the needs of our emotions are not being met.

In this track, you’re going to sidestep the content and flow with the way you want the experience to feel. By focusing on the emotions, we power the experience in your imagining.

Practising this even a few times will change your emotional stance as you move into the experience. You’ll look after your emotions before connecting with others. That way you can make the most of the actual conversations you have.

As you breathe, with soft eyes, take a moment to appreciate your presence, right here, right now.

Now, create the scene for the conversation you’re pre-paving. You might like to imagine it at a distance. You can put it on an imaginary screen or stage in your mind if you like. You can be in a different room from it, or even on a different planet. Place the scene you’re going to pre-pave, just where you’d like it to be in relation to where you are now.

You’re going to imagine the conversation, as if you were outside yourself, watching yourself speak. You’re going to tune into and soothe the way you are feeling as you talk.

Start by bringing an imaginary version of you into the space. See her, or get a sense that she is there outside you. Perhaps you can tell what she is wearing? That’s great. Whatever awareness you have is just right for this moment.

Get a sense for how she might be feeling just before the other person arrives. You don’t need to feel it for her, you don’t need to be sure you’ve got it right. Just guess, what emotions might be there for her. Whatever comes to mind is perfect.

Pause the scene to name the emotions. Welcome them, allow them, send love towards them and get a sense for the colour that would be just the right colour for those emotions, right now. If the emotions were asking for a colour, which one would they choose? If you’re not sure, simply choosing a colour you’d like to enjoy right now is perfect.

Breathe that colour in through your heart and out from your heart. Allow the colour to make its own way to the emotions in the imagined version of yourself as you breathe it out with love for those emotions.

You don’t have to make anything happen. Focus all your attention on the colour itself. Let whatever happens in the scene, happen by itself. Breathe colour in and out from your heart. Enjoy it as fully as you can.

Return your attention now to the scene. Let it play on as your imagined self greets the other person and begins to talk. That’s it. Don’t worry if you don’t imagine it in detail. It won’t matter. Let the conversation unfold.

…

Now pause the conversation as your imagined self is speaking.

Check in with your imagined self as you pause the words she is saying. How is she feeling as she speaks these words? Tune into the emotions inside her… That’s it. What’s she really feeling? Whatever those emotions might be, allow them, acknowledge them, name them. Let them know they are all welcome, no matter how they feel.

That’s it.

Get a sense for what colour would be the perfect colour for your imagined self and all those emotions, now. That’s it. Bring that colour in through your heart and out from your heart as you breathe with soft eyes. Send that colour, with love to all those emotions now.

Now let the conversation continue. Notice how your imagined self feels as the scene unfolds. Somehow, you’ll know how you know, how she feels…

…

Pause the conversation again. Tune into the emotions. That’s it. Whatever those emotions might be, allow them, acknowledge them, name them. Let them know they are all welcome, no matter how they feel.

Now let the conversation continue. Notice how your imagined self feels as the scene unfolds. Somehow, you’ll know how you know, how she feels…

…

And one last time, pause the conversation. Tune into the emotions. That’s it. Whatever those emotions might be, allow them, acknowledge them, name them. Let them know they are all welcome, no matter how they feel.

Now let the conversation continue. Notice how your imagined self feels as the scene unfolds. Somehow, you’ll know how you know, how she feels…

…

Now, if it hasn’t already ended, bring the conversation to a close.

Focus attention on how your imagined self feels after the conversation is over. Tune in. Allow, acknowledge, name her emotions. Welcome them. Send the colour that would be just right for them right now.

Now ask your imagined self if there is any emotion she’d really love to be feeling right now, if she’s not already feeling it. Breathe a colour to bring that emotion to her; choose the colour between you, breathe it in and focus on the colour itself. There’s nothing you have to do or make happen. Allow the colour to do everything for you as you breathe it in through your heart and out to your imagined self.

If there were a word or phrase, to capture the way she’d love to be feeling as the conversation ends, ask yourself, what would that word or phrase be? Perhaps, ‘Yes!’ or, ‘Delightful!’ or something else…

Bring that word or phrase into your heart and fill it with colour too, so you can send the colour and the word or phrase, with a satisfied sigh, out into your future… into the next moments and hours, into your sleeping and waking and on into the days and weeks ahead.

Bring your attention back to soak in this moment now… knowing that you have achieved your success, by bringing better feelings into this moment. There’s nothing you need to hope for or change about the future. Simply filling your imaginings on this topic with good feelings and colours has brought the benefit to you right here, right now. What comes next is just as it needs to be. You have allowed the most joy possible in this moment as you hold the topic in your heart. That’s all you ever want.

The more often you do this, the likelihood of the conversation actually feeling better to you when you have it, will increase. But you don’t need anything to change. Right here, right now, you are raising your vibration on the subject of this conversation. That is enough.

That’s it…

Now, as we bring this focused practice to an end, allow yourself to gently release the imagined version of you and the other…knowing and appreciating the power of caring for your own emotions, even before you have a conversation.

Allow yourself to bring your attention back to this moment, this space and when you’re ready, take a nice deep breath in… and out… and continue with your day.